Trading Lives
In a hospital there are hundreds of rooms with hundreds of patients that need something that could mean life or death. For example, 32 of the patients in this hospital, Angel’s Grace Memorial Hospital, desperately need a necessary organ or they will die in the next week. On average 21 patients a day die if they don’t get the organ they need, that means that most or all 32 patients at Angel’s Grace are praying for someone else to die so they can keep their organ and live. However, that is what the human race has come to today. Everyone is so selfish, except me. I have made peace with my fate.
I first came to this hospital when I was a baby. My mother left me outside the ER. I know you’re probably picturing a loving goodbye in the rain and a doctor finding me outside the door, but it wasn’t like that. It was in the middle of the day and she stood looking through the glass and held me in that pink blanket and soon enough she set me down on the ground. All the doctors had noticed, but once she ran they came out in panic. Some tried to chase her down, and one doctor took me from the ground. Soon after that, it took them no time to figure out that something was wrong with me.
The frontal lobe of my brain was impaired. That is the section of the brain that communicates emotion, problem solving, memory, and judgement, which is pretty much anything that would make me human. In order to stay alive, I have to take certain medications and fluids daily. If I got my medication my problems weren’t as severe. However, my “people skills” aren’t ever the best. Since I had to stay in there every day and the hospital had no connections to my parents, the hospital “adopted” me. It created a program which would collect donations to pay for my hospital room, my medication, and other gifts or clothes. As soon as I was the first official “child” of Angel’s Grace, a doctor was assigned my case. My doctor had a 12 year old son at the time and he stayed with his father as he treated me.
My doctor wrote on my charts then his son asked, “What will she be called?” This problem had never been pointed out before.
“Why don’t you decide her name,” he said while handing him the patient information sheet. There was a blank space under name where his son scribbled in the name Zoey.
“Zoey,” his father asked.
“Yes, today in school we that the name Zoey means life.” That boy who named me always tried to help with my case, he even many years later became a doctor himself. His father passed on my case to him, so now he is my doctor. His name is Dr. Staci. He has short brown hair, and to me he seems very tall. So far he is the closest thing I have to a father, and he acts like it too. That’s why he is my favorite doctor, and why, if I had to pick my favorite person in this world it would be Dr. Mark Staci.
Now, 15 years after that first night, I start most of my days in the hospital out the same. I slowly creep out of bed, turning to the side where I slip my feet into small pink bunny slippers. These slippers were donated a while ago, so they don’t really fit anymore, but I never complain because they are donations. The only objects I own are the ones donated to me, this Christmas I got an iPod and headphones which I use everyday. After finally standing up I put on the headphones and start playing loud rock music that gets me pumped up. I would stand there and dance until awake and energized. Soon after I walk out the door music still playing, and walk the halls while my head bobs to the beat of the music.
After a little bit of walking a small beeping sound came through the music. I look down to my waist and tilt the pager on my hip so I can read my message. This pager was a gift from Dr. Staci it was his old one that didn’t receive messages from the hospital anymore, but he set it up so I could receive messages from him. The message said “rainbow in 5”. In the pediatric wing of the hospital there is a curved desk painted like a rainbow. My room was no longer in the pediatric wing since I was in a permanent room, so I started to run there. The white walls rushed passed me as I took turns every which way. The elevator was at the end of the hallway I just turned into, so I rushed and slid on my bunny slippers into it. I slowly waited for the elevator to get to the right floor, then started running again. I turned one last corner, then hopped onto the rainbow desk and slid across until I was on the desk next to Dr. Staci.
I put my headphones around my neck and peered over his shoulder to look at his clipboards, then asked, “So what do we have today doc?”
“The usual, but I heard that there is some old lady in the ER today that’s wedding made her finger fall off.”
“Ewww. Awesome,” I said.
“Ready for rounds,” Dr. Staci asked. Rounds are when he goes around checking on all his patients.
“Sure,” I said, hopping off the desk.
“First things first,” he handed me a capsule full of my pills. I took two, then we headed toward his first patient.
“First up is Karen,” he said.
“No. I hate Karen she always smells like cheese and always brags about her talents.”
“Well, you’re not going to make me go alone are you?”
“I guess I’ll suffer that if I must,” I replied. I went through the pain and bit my tongue for all the patients I didn’t like. I try so hard not to say mean things they just come out I have no control. Finally halfway through rounds we came around to Thomas. Thomas was who I considered my best friend. He had only been in the hospital a few months, but he was the only person I liked to talk to. Thomas had Leukemia which is a type of cancer in your blood cells, he is also currently a “child” of Angel’s Grace because he was an orphan. I wasn’t sure how long he would be here since he is forced to move hospitals a lot.
We walked into to Thomas’s room and we started having a conversation while Dr. Staci checked all of his machines and tests. Thomas was really pale and he was bald from chemotherapy, but he always had a smile. It felt really easy to talk to Thomas, which was rare for me considering my condition. I liked Thomas a lot, probably because we are around the same age. We mostly talked about how bad Karen was and other gossip that was going around the hospital.
“You’re looking really good today Thomas,” Dr. Staci interrupted, “I almost see no irregularities in your blood tests.”
“How good? Do you think I will be able to leave and find a family soon,” Thomas asked.
“I’m sorry, but I’m afraid you will be in this hospital for a lot longer than you had hoped,” he said. I know this is selfish of me, but I was glad. I didn’t want to make my first best friend then lose him so fast. Besides, it wasn’t like he wasn’t getting better.
We sat in silence for a while until we overheard the nurses talking in the hallway as they walked by, “I swear to it when we sent him in there he had a giant tumor, and then when he came out it was completely gone. He’s a miracle worker. He took it out so quick and-,” their voices faded out.
“Who were they talking about,” I asked.
“The hospital just payed this man amazing money to work here. His name is Dr. Warren. He started last night and he did an incredible surgery. He took out a man’s tumor the size of a small basketball and he did it in ten minutes,” Dr. Staci said.
“He sounds good. do you think he could get rid of my leukemia for good,” Thomas asked.
“Maybe, I’ll see if I can get you on his list.”
“What list,” I asked.
“Dr. Warren has this list of patients he wants to fix.” I wanted to meet this new doctor Warren,, he is probably the only doctor in this hospital I don’t know.
Most of the day had passed after that conversation when I had run into Dr. Warren looking for Dr. Staci. The was a storage room with all the medical records and I usually saw Dr. Staci in there studying them to become a better doctor. It was empty from what I could see so I traveled further back through the maze of filing cabinets. I walked down and saw Dr. Warren, he was looking through some files then saw me. Once he did, he stumbled the folder back into the drawer, then slammed it shut.
I hastily said, “Oh ummm. Sorry I was just-”
“Patients can’t be in here,” He interrupted. He grabbed my shoulders turned me away, then pushed me towards the door, “You’re not supposed to be in here but you are anyway why is that?” Before I could answer, he shoved me out the door and then pointed to the sign on it, “See this? That means only the doctor’s can come in here, not you.”
He slammed the door in my face then I mumbled to myself, “Dr. Warren? More like Dr. Warden.” After my hair settled from the air pushed by the door, I continued looking for Dr. Staci. I found him in the hospital cafeteria. We started eating dinner and talking like we usually do
“I ran into Dr. Warren in the record room today,” I said.
“Really.”
“Uh huh. He got super mad and jumpy,” I said, taking a bite of my salad, “How was your day?”
“Oh,” he said thinking of something interesting. “You know the old lady that I told you about this morning.”
“The one in the ER?”
“Yeah, she died today,” he replied.
“Why, because she lost her finger,” I asked.
“No. Turns out she had a tumor,” he explained. The rest of the night seemed normal, but I sensed something different. The next day Dr. Warren performed another miracle. There was a boy whose heart was being run by a machine and somehow Dr. Warren fixed his heart. However, the weird thing was that soon after that another older man died in the hall because his heart gave out. Then next Dr. Warren brought a girl out of a coma, but after a few days a man took her place. Finally, after thinking about it for a long time, I told Dr. Staci and Thomas during rounds, that I didn’t think this was coincidence. Of course, right away they shot me down.
“Zoey, it isn’t even possible to transfer medical problems like that. Besides, this is a big hospital, we see similar things all the time, Dr. Staci said.
“There’s no way Dr. Warren has saved people just to kill others,” Thomas added.
Dr. Staci continued, “And you always could just be thinking about this too hard.”
“What is that supposed to mean,” I asked irritated.
“I’m only saying sometimes you have clouded judgment,” Dr. Staci replied.
“Why, because of my brain?” I looked to Thomas, but he couldn’t keep eye contact. The silence caused anger to grow inside of me.
I started to leave, then Dr. Staci said, “Zoey, I’m sorry. I wasn’t to-” I cut him off, leaving the room and closing the door behind me. As I started to walk back to my room, tears gathered in my eyes. I couldn’t tell if they were there because of sadness or anger. So many thoughts flew around my head. I was upset that Dr. Staci would bring that up, but what if he was right? Could this all be in my head? I believed I must have been losing my mind.
Over the next few days Dr. Staci became only my doctor, not my friend. We didn’t engage in conversations unless they were about my medical condition. He tried to apologize, but I never listened. I was so mad because I was believing I was crazy because of him. I would avoid him and I would wait until his rounds were over to go see Thomas. One day while with Thomas he got news that changed the whole situation.
A nurse knocked on the already open door and said, “Thomas, I have good news.” I was confused, then she continued, “You made the list.” Both she and Thomas had big smiles then they noticed I was upset.
I waited for the nurse to leave and shut the door, then I said loudly, “Is this list Dr. Warren’s?”
“Yes, but-”
I cut him off, “After what I told you? I can’t believe this.”
“He’s a miracle worker, and I need a miracle. Don’t you want me to get better”
The volume grew and I immediately yelled, “No!” I regretted saying those words the moment after.
I could see that I upset Thomas then he said, “What do you mean?”
“I’m sorry I just don’t want to lose my best friend.”
“Well,” he said, “I guess you did anyway.” I stood there in silence for a bit then left for
my room. I was so upset. Why couldn’t I have just not said anything? In the past week I had lost everything that I loved, and I blamed Dr. Warren for all of it. The next day I went by to apologize and explain things to Thomas, but when I went into his room he was packing.
“What’s going on,” I shook it off, “Doesn’t matter. I want to say sorry. I was being selfish.”
“Zoey it’s okay I over reacted. I didn’t want to lose you either, but now it’s too late. I’ve been cured and I’m heading to an orphanage tonight.” I tried my hardest to stay happy for him that night we had a great talk and goodbye. I spent every moment until he left by his side. Those hours went by so fast, and with that he took his boxes and left. I waved at him through a window as he got picked up by his new foster family, and suddenly once he was gone I got angry. I got angry, mostly at Dr. Warren, he was who I blamed for anything that had gone wrong in my life. So, I headed to the only place where I thought I could find him, the record room.
I quickly entered the room and called out, ”Dr. Warren? Dr. Warren?” He came out from behind a cabinet, then walked toward me upset.
He then said, “I thought I told you-”
“Just listen okay,” I said stopping his speech. “I have lost so much and it’s only happened since you showed up, and I just want to know are you killing people?”
“No I’m saving people,” He said.
“No, no. I mean how you save people. Honestly I think you’re killing people to do it. I think I’m going crazy, so if you could just clear that up, that would be great,” I began to cry.
He noticed how upset I was, so he opened up and said, “Look kid the truth is I do have something. It’s a curse actually, I can save anyone, but whatever I took away to save them I have to give to someone else. I touch them and it gets transferred, and once transferred they must die the next day.” I was relieved that I wasn’t insane.
“Why would you tell me this,” I asked.
“Because I have a way to earn your secrecy. I can heal you, but you can’t tell anyone.”
“No, what you are doing isn’t right. Even though you are helping people, you are hurting people to do it. Helping while hurting is only hurting. You need to stop hurting people Dr. Warren, you need to stop using this power,” I said.
“You don’t want to be healed?”
“No, everyone needs to die the way they were meant to. No interferences.”
“The people I choose are older people or people who deserve to die anyway.”
“I don’t care you need to stop or else I will let people know what you are really doing.”
“No,” he said, “I don’t think you will” Dr. Warren then reached out and touched my shoulder. It was in that moment that I knew he had just given me Thomas’s Leukemia, and it was finally my turn to die.
By, Emma Jordan
